It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
