I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize