when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
