Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
