It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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