I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
