hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
