it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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