apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
