i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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