What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
