sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
