Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
