He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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