Don't you send me to vm
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
