please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
