still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
