Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
