Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
