1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
