Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
