oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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