dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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