A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
