i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i think i have two assholes
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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