i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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