I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
