i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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