Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
