ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
