Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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