is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
