I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Drake has all the answers
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
