guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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