Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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