I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize