the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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