I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
