oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
