Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
