they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
