ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
