he was CRYING into my vagina
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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