i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
