woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize