I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
