Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
