He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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