They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize