Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she told me i tasted like america
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
