i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
