oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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