? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
