Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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