If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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