i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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