I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Randomize
