I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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