just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
