You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
