i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
