i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
