Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
