We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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