walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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