The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
