i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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