The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
