The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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